Somali Early childhood Parenting: An Appeal for a Change by Mohammed Hussein Ali

Following profound exploration of western books and ideologies alongside several observations of our long cultural and traditional practices passed down from one generation to another, I wondered why negative competitions are prominent among Somali societies in all regions. I believe that I have found answers to this nagging question, and here is what I think.

Let us Firstly compare good parenting, education, children upbringing, and personal development in general. Children in western societies are encouraged to build personal boundaries, develop individual competence, and embrace their unique and individual identities. This is in contrast to Somali society where one would easily observe that children are raised with an awful or terrible mindset rooted in negative competition and unhealthy comparison. Most times, you hear parents telling their children: 'Be like Hebel and Hebel, Hebel is better than you' , or 'Hebel is crazier than that person!'

Not even adults are spared in this issue of negative competition and materialism. The complaints from relatives always ring like: 'Mr Hebel has built a house for his family, why haven't you built one just like him?' or  'Mr Asha bought this and that kind of things, Mr Hebel has many children, why can't you do same?' Even small towns in the country side engage in this vaulting rivalry and dangerous competition. The obvious result and effect of such mentality is that these town are fettered by underdevelopment and absence of growth.

But what really are the lucid points of divergence in the Western approach to parenting and Somali parenting skills?

To be candid, the western approach encourages a positive mindset. You rarely see them belittling each other, jealousy is also significantly low, every child is encouraged to be innovative or to build his or her own business and not be in competition with anyone at all (they understand that not all fingers are equal). They comprehend the fact that there is a wide room for individual acceptance and make acknowledgement for each person's way to success; just as it is said that there is enough room in the sky for all birds to fly without hitting each other. This method enables children to think creatively, rather than emulating others. Instead of forming a 'copy and paste' mindset, they set their feet onto an innovative cum inventive journey.

On the other hand, the Somali context at large is almost completely vice versa. Inordinate rivalry and unreasonable competition exist at every strata of the society; from individual to individual, from community to community, from society to society, from town to town and from region to region, and even at the state level; the scenario remains the same! Instead of acknowledging these shortcomings, they choose to dwell in denial. Rather than accepting these flaws, they keep dismissing each other. Instead of building unique pathways, they are simply replicating (or copying and pasting) each other's efforts.

From the perspective of  our prestigious religion; as revealed by Allah  to His best Prophet Mohamed (peace of Allah and His blessings be upon him immensely); Allah criticised compelling competitions among people in wealth, number, status, and power. You can read this view in many surahs in the whole Quran. For instance, you can confirm this in surah Humazah which affirms that most of us have become obsessed with getting the most in everything which leads to win lose situations.

Lastly; but not the least, taking cognisance of these canckerworms is the best place to begin the quest for solutions. These prolonged negative cum unhealthy behaviours have deep roots in early childhood parenting before being transferred to the schooling system where youngsters are trained to maintain unnecessary jealous competition for grades. This terrible attitudes continue to escalate and transcend levels and has even reached its apogee at the national level where it has become a major migraine.

Immediate solutions such as engaging in serious campaigns  and creating awareness via mass media; social media in particular can target teenagers and young people who are still impressionable and are (potential) victims of this long nefarious practice. It is pertinent to bring these issues to school daboors and in class rooms presentations; teachers can play a good role in tackling them by enlightening and discussing them with students. Imams, who preach in mosques, can also shed more light on them. Additionally , TV programmes and shows can help adults identify and understand these phenomena alongside the detriments of their application, and providing workshops to parents, guardians or caregivers can also  be a major aspect of attaining a working, peaceful, and progressive society which would be free from illogical jealousy, comparison, and degrading each other.

About the Writer: Mohammed Hussein Ali

Mohamed Hussein Ali was born in Togdheer, Burco, Somaliland. He holds a Bachelor of Science Degree in Human Resources Management and Leadership from New Generation University, Hargeisa. He has been teaching Somali Literature and Islamic Studies for over a decade.

Mohammed has also obtained a Professional Diploma in International Child Development Program (ICDP), which has enhanced his expertise in child protection, good parenting practices, and holistic child development.

Mohammed's professional and academic journey reflects a strong commitment to education, cultural preservation, and social development. Alongside teaching, he actively engages in the study and promotion of Somali literature, with a particular interest in poetry and its role in shaping cultural identity. His deep passion for Islamic Studies further strengthens his role as both an educator and community mentor.

Furthermore, Mohammed is an advocate for human care, with a particular focus on the essence of parenting and safeguarding children’s rights. He believes firmly that investing in children’s growth and well-being is a key factor in building a healthy society and fostering sustainable national development.

Mohammed's hobbies include reading, researching, and engaging with Somali poetry, especially works by great poets who have made significant contributions to Somali culture and literature. Through his professional experience and academic background, he strives to contribute to both educational excellence and community development, with the vision of nurturing future generations who are well-grounded in knowledge, values, and culture.

Mohammed is happily married and lives with his wife and Children in Hargeisa, Somaliland, East Africa; where he writes from.